"You've reached the inbox of Jeremiah Gottwald. I'm unavailable at the moment, but leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."
[In a move that's sure to shock everyone, Frowny McFrowny-Pants frowns.]
You know why I'm asking, don't you? [It's cool if he doesn't because she's just going to barrel on into the point anyway.] You're having difficulty coping.
[He could see the conversation veering this way, and yet it plays out and all Jeremiah wants to do is laugh. Instead, he goes for another form of honesty.]
To a degree, yes. [He's smiling, but it's not very warm.] But that's not why I go. It's an old habit that I don't have many other avenues to satisfy. I miss things like a glass of wine with dinner, it's no attempt to drown my sorrows.
[If he were to try, Jeremiah would need a lot more credits to be successful.]
[As before, she's not going to beat him into the ground with a concern stick, so she holds back a sigh and says nothing at all for a moment.]
I wonder if that's for the best. In a place like this, learning to cope might only serve to breed complacency.
[Now it's Debbie Downer Hour. Huzzah.]
We're not working as hard as we should against the Augur. I know it's because we lack the means to do so, but how well are we pursuing those?
[They're drinking and playing card games and she doesn't even belong as part of their wacky group but this is how she's spending her time anyway. Shit's wack, yo.]
[Not much to argue when he doesn't see his drinking as a problem. Actually he's pretty good at it, even if her point carries its own validity.]
There's a degree to which falling into comforts of life here can be dangerous. It doesn't need to be mutually exclusive... but you're right. [He sighs.] I don't think it's enough, either.
[A moment's pause, not knowing if he should push forward. He still doesn't love the idea, but-]
I've been wondering how receptive the Augur would be to using these requests to making more core changes to how things function. Trading in for something more substantial than a single square, such as several, or perhaps an entire card. As long as it doesn't prevent the Augur from working or feeding off energy as it somehow must, I don't know that we can't also undermine it.
[Ah yes, the old "working within vs. working outside the system" debate. That one's led to fantastic results back home, hasn't it.]
[It's okay, who needs to learn from their mistakes anyway? Not this lot, that's for damned sure.]
You're suggesting that we beat the Augur at its own game.
[Said contemplatively. It makes sense, but also raises a question she hasn't really considered yet.]
I wonder... thus far, there seem to be no limits to what the Augur will give in exchange for an Auspicious Act, provided that it meets certain... cost requirements. Is that because there's truly nothing it won't give us, or is it because nobody's asked for something that would endanger it or its purpose?
[Which seems almost ridiculous to say given that there are multiple weapons of mass destruction just chilling in the hangars, but does that suggest indifference or confidence? And if the latter, confidence in what? She falls silent to think, but doesn't come up with anything that sounds more likely than other possibilities, so she doesn't speak any of them for now, stashing them away in the pockets of her mind for further consideration when her mind is more clear.]
A thought for another time, perhaps. What manner of changes are you thinking could work in our favour?
[Jeremiah simply nods and holds his responses until she's done. There's a degree to which they're already on the same page. It's what he'd expect; left to her own devices and under unfavorable odds, she won't remain still any more than the rest of them. The difference is she's keeping more possibilities in mind rather than taking assumptions, as he has. Greater risk, but a faster return. He hopes.]
I want to ask for two-way functionality on the teleporter. Even if it cannot or will not be done, one of those two things would have to be the case. In asking, I may be able to find out. If it can be done, it could be the first step to sending people home. A request to the Augur itself would surely get rejected, but if the technology to do so at all exists, it could be appropriated in time for our own ends.
[Jeremiah pauses. It sounds fine outside of his head and ridiculous all at once. Not all that much more ridiculous than things he's seen.]
And if we can't utilize it to return people home right away, perhaps we can at least send objects back, perhaps even with the Augur's approval. [And therein sits his selfish motivation, but returning home carries different things for everyone. In his case, he'll take a compromise over nothing.] If the flow of time here isn't independent of everything else, this could be crucial to those that have been left behind.
Then what you want to accomplish is something akin to installing backdoor access on the teleporter, is that right? One that gradually builds upon a base request to restore full functionality to all users, and not just those aligned with the Augur?
[It makes sense, especially if it's packaged like the latter part of Jeremiah's though process. She turns more fully to face him, and there's a scheming sort of light in her eyes now, almost ominous in how it sparkles.]
The Augur wants us to power this world, correct? Through a system of incentives. Permitting people to send objects home won't necessarily distract from that, but rather give them something else to work towards, thus further incentivising participation. [She shakes her head. Frowns.] Or that's how the Augur might be convinced. I don't think that such a message would serve the general population well, and I'd rather not encourage compliance more so than the conditions of this world already do.
[If she knew about Anya, she might have picked up on that element of selfishness, but according to my gmail search she hasn't once come up in conversation between them, so Cornelia leaves it be for now, not wanting to leap towards any conclusions when she still knows so little about what life is like post-war.]
[Ominousness only spurs him on. Jeremiah's not the same master of deception or strategy as some of those in his life, but the possibilities it opened up weren't lost on him, ones he knows others would surely find and make good use of too. It makes the origin of the idea less singularly beneficial, though also one he has yet to feel bad about.
It's definitely true; he's mostly been keeping thoughts of Anya close to the breast. For once, it feels easier than opening his heart up on the matter, even when he longs to.]
In essence, yes. As much as trying to reason with it isn't emotionally satisfying, it might be the more effective strategy. And if I'm going to comply to reach a goal, I ought to do something useful while I'm at it, right?
[It's not sacrificial, he'll tell himself plenty, because it serves him too. But Jeremiah's also sure he can turn the tables on how those squares get filled until he gets there. Getting to that point doesn't seem that daunting from where he stands now.]
But no, I don't plan to advertise it in that sense. People should know it's an option, though. If and how they utilize it will be up to them.
[That's really all it takes to perk these guys up, huh? Plotting and scheming. Well, that suits her just fine. The inaction is as detrimental to her mood as their circumstances are, and she's always found that having a purpose is rather akin to applying a salve to the wound. She might not be able to succeed at X or contend with Y, but at least Z is possible and that's enough to keep her going with her head held high.]
Mm. And regardless of the outcome, it should give us some insight on how the Augur thinks and where the holes are in its logical systems in addition to its ability to identify and close loopholes.
[Which can, of course, be exploited to their benefit. The gears are turning and it feels good.]
[It's what happens when you slow down after holding positions atop the world. Everything else can seem... a little dull. Being brought here is an extreme in that sense, so it's not as if Jeremiah couldn't blame any of them for being frustrated.]
Whenever I've acquired enough to barter with. I'll attempt the request once I've got a row to trade, but I suspect a full card would be needed for something such as this.
[Shot in the dark, isn't it? Perhaps he'll fill his card for nothing, but it's a gamble he'll make.]
I don't know if it would let me confer over the matter before I have enough to ask. I may just simply have to try to know.
[She almost asks him if he's sure, but they've been over this before. They do what it takes, they fight as hard as they must, and they don't force themselves to navigate around obstacles of their own creations. To act otherwise is to insult their ability to withstand and overcome whatever this place throws their way. Still, it gives her some pause and she can't hold back a sigh.]
Have you tried speaking with the Augur yet? Just in general.
[He has a sense of the unspoken in the utterance, her sigh, but she leaves it be. The degree of him that agrees that it's a foolish plan is far smaller than the rest, because even so, he feels better having something he can at least try.]
I have not, outside of the requests I've made thus far. [Jeremiah's just as likely to get in a snippy, one-sided row over his own frustrations.] Why?
[Perhaps more curious than she'd ever openly admit, but that's neither here nor there. She remains resolute in her determination never to contact that motherfucker, except to make her own requests. Which she will totally do. Eventually. One day. God, I need to get off my ass already.]
I can't say I've spent much time speaking with my enemies one-on-one.
[Because, uh, usually she just kills them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #justbritannianthings]
[He laughs softly behind closed lips, expression lightening a touch. At least talking shit would feel cathartic right about now.]
I don't know how much there would be to glean from this one in particular, aside from what you can and cannot ask for it to do. Nor can I estimate how forthright it would be on any other topics with nothing for it to gain. I'm not terribly optimistic.
[Yeah, he's bitter about it.]
When I interacted with it, I didn't attempt much beyond the requests themselves. After denying the ability to use the transporter how I'd wished, I frankly didn't care to.
What did you ask it for specifically? Regarding the teleporter, I mean.
[She's not sure if wants to go into what he's traded his squares for yet. For whatever reason, she finds it far easier to discuss future trades than to acknowledge what's already been done. Perhaps it comes down to privacy, as things often do for her. Certain aspects of life here still feel intrusive to her in a way she's reluctant to confront, if only because she lacks experience in speaking about them openly and without reservation and therefore doesn't know how to navigate such conversations.]
[It's personal on another front, if anything, not that she'd exactly anticipate as much. Jeremiah could half-explain it and she may not pry. But then again, he doesn't really like doing anything by halves.
Being tipsy on a rather capricious evening may have a hand in it, too.]
I had requested to send a letter home, to Anya. It would put my mind at ease, assuming time has continued to pass there and I've simply been... absent.
[Well. That's. That's absolutely not what she was expecting. Not that she had anything particular in mind, of course, but rather that it's surprising enough that she knows she would never have guessed.
[He nearly laughs at himself, realizing how long he'd taken to mention it, not even in passing. It's really been one of those anomalies where his heart remains largely closed off. Even now, part of him aches.]
Ah, yes. Not long after... everything, she came into my ward. Most of her family was at Pendragon.
[There's so much more to mention that Jeremiah can't think of where he could start, save the reason why he'd been the one to step in. The second he thinks of mentioning Geass, the thread of their shared idolatry at once comes to mind, and it nearly stops him physically in his tracks. Jeremiah knows he'll tell Cornelia someday, but even he doesn't think he has the full picture of what happened to Lady Marianne anymore. The thread he could follow to learn, however, only fills him with dread.
So he lies. By omission, the only way he's any good at it, but a lie nonetheless.]
Her memories had been overwritten by Geass. Many times, for years, to the point that she couldn't trust her own recollection of things. She took photographs to compensate.
[Neatly enough, it brings him to his point, his chest heavy as lead.] For her, I may have simply... disappeared without a trace. I hate the thought that our time together could feel just as much like a fabrication when she'd finally reached more stability in her life.
[Anya was only with her and Schneizel for a short while, but it was more than enough time for Cornelia to notice how much time she spent on her phone, how many pictures she took, how monotone she could be at times as though parts of her were incomplete. She never thought to ask because she didn't think she'd get any answers; now, however, she wonders if she should have tried reaching out.]
That poor girl...
[She's silent for a bit afterwards, not sure which direction to take the conversation – towards Geass or towards Jeremiah – but there's nothing she can do about the former here and she suspects that trying to dig deeper into that mess will only result in them both slipping into darker moods. A chance she doesn't really want to take while they're already peering into the abyss.]
Did I disappear? Did Kururugi? We're both from an earlier point in time than you are.
[Jeremiah just nods in response to her inquiry, sighing. It doesn't pain him as harshly, but when he has to explain the situation, it all comes into such uncomfortable focus just how fucked up it is. It's not something he'd wish upon a stranger, much less someone who's become so precious to him. It's also something he can push back out of his thoughts readily enough, used to it as he is.
The silence they're left with is heavy, but not exactly uncomfortable. When Cornelia speaks again, he takes a moment longer still to reply.]
Not as far as I'm aware. [Sometimes he felt like being sequestered to rural France was the same as living under a rock, but they were both present at the wedding.] I admit, I actually hadn't thought of it that way.
[Doing so does lighten his expression, easing the knit of his brow, at least. The loops in time may not close themselves perfectly, but a gap no longer seems like an inevitability. Assuming he does ever escape this place, anyway.]
[In before they learn that alternate realities are possible and they have to confront the whole "did we just create a new reality by coming here" issue.]
Regardless of the truth, I'm sorry that you were taken from her. It's not easy.
[The words being alone might have completed that thought if she was a more open person, but instead she keeps that part of things to herself. But without Euphy, without Darlton, without Guilford, without Schneizel, without any of the people or the places or the systems within which she once found comfort, she is a little lost, too, and ill-equipped to figure out how to create a community among people who may be familiar but who aren't really a part of her world.]
[Hopefully not, because y i k e s. Jerry might lose his head for real.
There's a certain admission to weakness that keeps Jeremiah quiet, at first. He has every reason to do this for Anya's sake, and no matter what's occurring back home, he surely has to return to her at some point or another. But the urgency he feels, the stubborn fixation of his thoughts comes from more than that.]
No, it isn't. To be honest, no matter the situation, it... it is reassurance I think I need for myself just as much.
[Jeremiah simply misses her, terribly, horribly. His unwavering brand of devotion was never only reserved for the royal family, attached to a few members of his own, among which he now counts Anya, easily. Of course it pains him, even as his tone remains stiff for a topic this sensitive.]
Should this request succeed, I should hope that others can find peace of mind as well.
[Which may include Cornelia, but he's cautious to suggest it. No matter her demeanor, Jeremiah wouldn't think she doesn't have people she misses, but it's for similar reasons that he doesn't pry.]
[Oh, she has people she misses. People she doesn't know whether they're alive or dead. People who she hasn't seen since she left Pendragon for Japan an entire lifetime ago. A little sister she barely knows, an elder brother with whom to make amends, a knight who burst into tears when finally they were reunited. The list goes on and on and on.
And yet right now, she's really only thinking about the person she can't reach out to, the one who won't be there waiting for her, whose face she'll never see again, whose voice she'll never hear again, whose hugs and whose laughter and whose smile are already fading from her memory. She doesn't know whether to clear her mind of such thoughts or to cling to them until they're gone, too.]
What are we doing? Are we improving this mood or humouring it?
[He does it with a smile, but Jeremiah sighs rather heavily all the same.]
That's a good point. I suppose I've just had a lot on my mind.
[And admittedly, she's the safest confidant he has on a matter he's been avoiding but keenly needing perspective on. At least the thoughts are nothing new, not so raw that it drags him to a place he can't come out of.
Looking more pointedly around them, they've made their way further into the city than he'd thought, following by memory rather than counting the blocks.]
[Some moods, after all, are inescapable. Goodness knows they keep yo-yoing back into this one. And that's the problem. Like with so many of the circumstances she faces here, she is simply at a loss for what to do, for which paths to walk and which to avoid. Thus, she clarifies.]
We should chose one or the other and stick with it until it's run its course.
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You know why I'm asking, don't you? [It's cool if he doesn't because she's just going to barrel on into the point anyway.] You're having difficulty coping.
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To a degree, yes. [He's smiling, but it's not very warm.] But that's not why I go. It's an old habit that I don't have many other avenues to satisfy. I miss things like a glass of wine with dinner, it's no attempt to drown my sorrows.
[If he were to try, Jeremiah would need a lot more credits to be successful.]
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I wonder if that's for the best. In a place like this, learning to cope might only serve to breed complacency.
[Now it's Debbie Downer Hour. Huzzah.]
We're not working as hard as we should against the Augur. I know it's because we lack the means to do so, but how well are we pursuing those?
[They're drinking and playing card games and she doesn't even belong as part of their wacky group but this is how she's spending her time anyway. Shit's wack, yo.]
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There's a degree to which falling into comforts of life here can be dangerous. It doesn't need to be mutually exclusive... but you're right. [He sighs.] I don't think it's enough, either.
[A moment's pause, not knowing if he should push forward. He still doesn't love the idea, but-]
I've been wondering how receptive the Augur would be to using these requests to making more core changes to how things function. Trading in for something more substantial than a single square, such as several, or perhaps an entire card. As long as it doesn't prevent the Augur from working or feeding off energy as it somehow must, I don't know that we can't also undermine it.
[Ah yes, the old "working within vs. working outside the system" debate. That one's led to fantastic results back home, hasn't it.]
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You're suggesting that we beat the Augur at its own game.
[Said contemplatively. It makes sense, but also raises a question she hasn't really considered yet.]
I wonder... thus far, there seem to be no limits to what the Augur will give in exchange for an Auspicious Act, provided that it meets certain... cost requirements. Is that because there's truly nothing it won't give us, or is it because nobody's asked for something that would endanger it or its purpose?
[Which seems almost ridiculous to say given that there are multiple weapons of mass destruction just chilling in the hangars, but does that suggest indifference or confidence? And if the latter, confidence in what? She falls silent to think, but doesn't come up with anything that sounds more likely than other possibilities, so she doesn't speak any of them for now, stashing them away in the pockets of her mind for further consideration when her mind is more clear.]
A thought for another time, perhaps. What manner of changes are you thinking could work in our favour?
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I want to ask for two-way functionality on the teleporter. Even if it cannot or will not be done, one of those two things would have to be the case. In asking, I may be able to find out. If it can be done, it could be the first step to sending people home. A request to the Augur itself would surely get rejected, but if the technology to do so at all exists, it could be appropriated in time for our own ends.
[Jeremiah pauses. It sounds fine outside of his head and ridiculous all at once. Not all that much more ridiculous than things he's seen.]
And if we can't utilize it to return people home right away, perhaps we can at least send objects back, perhaps even with the Augur's approval. [And therein sits his selfish motivation, but returning home carries different things for everyone. In his case, he'll take a compromise over nothing.] If the flow of time here isn't independent of everything else, this could be crucial to those that have been left behind.
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[It makes sense, especially if it's packaged like the latter part of Jeremiah's though process. She turns more fully to face him, and there's a scheming sort of light in her eyes now, almost ominous in how it sparkles.]
The Augur wants us to power this world, correct? Through a system of incentives. Permitting people to send objects home won't necessarily distract from that, but rather give them something else to work towards, thus further incentivising participation. [She shakes her head. Frowns.] Or that's how the Augur might be convinced. I don't think that such a message would serve the general population well, and I'd rather not encourage compliance more so than the conditions of this world already do.
[If she knew about Anya, she might have picked up on that element of selfishness, but
according to my gmail searchshe hasn't once come up in conversation between them, so Cornelia leaves it be for now, not wanting to leap towards any conclusions when she still knows so little about what life is like post-war.]no subject
It's definitely true; he's mostly been keeping thoughts of Anya close to the breast. For once, it feels easier than opening his heart up on the matter, even when he longs to.]
In essence, yes. As much as trying to reason with it isn't emotionally satisfying, it might be the more effective strategy. And if I'm going to comply to reach a goal, I ought to do something useful while I'm at it, right?
[It's not sacrificial, he'll tell himself plenty, because it serves him too. But Jeremiah's also sure he can turn the tables on how those squares get filled until he gets there. Getting to that point doesn't seem that daunting from where he stands now.]
But no, I don't plan to advertise it in that sense. People should know it's an option, though. If and how they utilize it will be up to them.
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Mm. And regardless of the outcome, it should give us some insight on how the Augur thinks and where the holes are in its logical systems in addition to its ability to identify and close loopholes.
[Which can, of course, be exploited to their benefit. The gears are turning and it feels good.]
When do intend to put this plan in motion?
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Whenever I've acquired enough to barter with. I'll attempt the request once I've got a row to trade, but I suspect a full card would be needed for something such as this.
[Shot in the dark, isn't it? Perhaps he'll fill his card for nothing, but it's a gamble he'll make.]
I don't know if it would let me confer over the matter before I have enough to ask. I may just simply have to try to know.
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[She almost asks him if he's sure, but they've been over this before. They do what it takes, they fight as hard as they must, and they don't force themselves to navigate around obstacles of their own creations. To act otherwise is to insult their ability to withstand and overcome whatever this place throws their way. Still, it gives her some pause and she can't hold back a sigh.]
Have you tried speaking with the Augur yet? Just in general.
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I have not, outside of the requests I've made thus far. [Jeremiah's just as likely to get in a snippy, one-sided row over his own frustrations.] Why?
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[Perhaps more curious than she'd ever openly admit, but that's neither here nor there. She remains resolute in her determination never to contact that motherfucker, except to make her own requests. Which she will totally do. Eventually. One day. God, I need to get off my ass already.]
I can't say I've spent much time speaking with my enemies one-on-one.
[Because, uh, usually she just kills them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #justbritannianthings]
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I don't know how much there would be to glean from this one in particular, aside from what you can and cannot ask for it to do. Nor can I estimate how forthright it would be on any other topics with nothing for it to gain. I'm not terribly optimistic.
[Yeah, he's bitter about it.]
When I interacted with it, I didn't attempt much beyond the requests themselves. After denying the ability to use the transporter how I'd wished, I frankly didn't care to.
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[She's not sure if wants to go into what he's traded his squares for yet. For whatever reason, she finds it far easier to discuss future trades than to acknowledge what's already been done. Perhaps it comes down to privacy, as things often do for her. Certain aspects of life here still feel intrusive to her in a way she's reluctant to confront, if only because she lacks experience in speaking about them openly and without reservation and therefore doesn't know how to navigate such conversations.]
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Being tipsy on a rather capricious evening may have a hand in it, too.]
I had requested to send a letter home, to Anya. It would put my mind at ease, assuming time has continued to pass there and I've simply been... absent.
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So forgive her when all she says at first is:]
The Alstreim girl?
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Ah, yes. Not long after... everything, she came into my ward. Most of her family was at Pendragon.
[There's so much more to mention that Jeremiah can't think of where he could start, save the reason why he'd been the one to step in. The second he thinks of mentioning Geass, the thread of their shared idolatry at once comes to mind, and it nearly stops him physically in his tracks. Jeremiah knows he'll tell Cornelia someday, but even he doesn't think he has the full picture of what happened to Lady Marianne anymore. The thread he could follow to learn, however, only fills him with dread.
So he lies. By omission, the only way he's any good at it, but a lie nonetheless.]
Her memories had been overwritten by Geass. Many times, for years, to the point that she couldn't trust her own recollection of things. She took photographs to compensate.
[Neatly enough, it brings him to his point, his chest heavy as lead.] For her, I may have simply... disappeared without a trace. I hate the thought that our time together could feel just as much like a fabrication when she'd finally reached more stability in her life.
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[Anya was only with her and Schneizel for a short while, but it was more than enough time for Cornelia to notice how much time she spent on her phone, how many pictures she took, how monotone she could be at times as though parts of her were incomplete. She never thought to ask because she didn't think she'd get any answers; now, however, she wonders if she should have tried reaching out.]
That poor girl...
[She's silent for a bit afterwards, not sure which direction to take the conversation – towards Geass or towards Jeremiah – but there's nothing she can do about the former here and she suspects that trying to dig deeper into that mess will only result in them both slipping into darker moods. A chance she doesn't really want to take while they're already peering into the abyss.]
Did I disappear? Did Kururugi? We're both from an earlier point in time than you are.
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The silence they're left with is heavy, but not exactly uncomfortable. When Cornelia speaks again, he takes a moment longer still to reply.]
Not as far as I'm aware. [Sometimes he felt like being sequestered to rural France was the same as living under a rock, but they were both present at the wedding.] I admit, I actually hadn't thought of it that way.
[Doing so does lighten his expression, easing the knit of his brow, at least. The loops in time may not close themselves perfectly, but a gap no longer seems like an inevitability. Assuming he does ever escape this place, anyway.]
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In before they learn that alternate realities are possible and they have to confront the whole "did we just create a new reality by coming here" issue.]Regardless of the truth, I'm sorry that you were taken from her. It's not easy.
[The words being alone might have completed that thought if she was a more open person, but instead she keeps that part of things to herself. But without Euphy, without Darlton, without Guilford, without Schneizel, without any of the people or the places or the systems within which she once found comfort, she is a little lost, too, and ill-equipped to figure out how to create a community among people who may be familiar but who aren't really a part of her world.]
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Hopefully not, because y i k e s. Jerry might lose his head for real.There's a certain admission to weakness that keeps Jeremiah quiet, at first. He has every reason to do this for Anya's sake, and no matter what's occurring back home, he surely has to return to her at some point or another. But the urgency he feels, the stubborn fixation of his thoughts comes from more than that.]
No, it isn't. To be honest, no matter the situation, it... it is reassurance I think I need for myself just as much.
[Jeremiah simply misses her, terribly, horribly. His unwavering brand of devotion was never only reserved for the royal family, attached to a few members of his own, among which he now counts Anya, easily. Of course it pains him, even as his tone remains stiff for a topic this sensitive.]
Should this request succeed, I should hope that others can find peace of mind as well.
[Which may include Cornelia, but he's cautious to suggest it. No matter her demeanor, Jeremiah wouldn't think she doesn't have people she misses, but it's for similar reasons that he doesn't pry.]
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And yet right now, she's really only thinking about the person she can't reach out to, the one who won't be there waiting for her, whose face she'll never see again, whose voice she'll never hear again, whose hugs and whose laughter and whose smile are already fading from her memory. She doesn't know whether to clear her mind of such thoughts or to cling to them until they're gone, too.]
What are we doing? Are we improving this mood or humouring it?
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That's a good point. I suppose I've just had a lot on my mind.
[And admittedly, she's the safest confidant he has on a matter he's been avoiding but keenly needing perspective on. At least the thoughts are nothing new, not so raw that it drags him to a place he can't come out of.
Looking more pointedly around them, they've made their way further into the city than he'd thought, following by memory rather than counting the blocks.]
We aren't terribly far off, now.
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[Some moods, after all, are inescapable. Goodness knows they keep yo-yoing back into this one. And that's the problem. Like with so many of the circumstances she faces here, she is simply at a loss for what to do, for which paths to walk and which to avoid. Thus, she clarifies.]
We should chose one or the other and stick with it until it's run its course.
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