"You've reached the inbox of Jeremiah Gottwald. I'm unavailable at the moment, but leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."
[Jeremiah just nods in response to her inquiry, sighing. It doesn't pain him as harshly, but when he has to explain the situation, it all comes into such uncomfortable focus just how fucked up it is. It's not something he'd wish upon a stranger, much less someone who's become so precious to him. It's also something he can push back out of his thoughts readily enough, used to it as he is.
The silence they're left with is heavy, but not exactly uncomfortable. When Cornelia speaks again, he takes a moment longer still to reply.]
Not as far as I'm aware. [Sometimes he felt like being sequestered to rural France was the same as living under a rock, but they were both present at the wedding.] I admit, I actually hadn't thought of it that way.
[Doing so does lighten his expression, easing the knit of his brow, at least. The loops in time may not close themselves perfectly, but a gap no longer seems like an inevitability. Assuming he does ever escape this place, anyway.]
[In before they learn that alternate realities are possible and they have to confront the whole "did we just create a new reality by coming here" issue.]
Regardless of the truth, I'm sorry that you were taken from her. It's not easy.
[The words being alone might have completed that thought if she was a more open person, but instead she keeps that part of things to herself. But without Euphy, without Darlton, without Guilford, without Schneizel, without any of the people or the places or the systems within which she once found comfort, she is a little lost, too, and ill-equipped to figure out how to create a community among people who may be familiar but who aren't really a part of her world.]
[Hopefully not, because y i k e s. Jerry might lose his head for real.
There's a certain admission to weakness that keeps Jeremiah quiet, at first. He has every reason to do this for Anya's sake, and no matter what's occurring back home, he surely has to return to her at some point or another. But the urgency he feels, the stubborn fixation of his thoughts comes from more than that.]
No, it isn't. To be honest, no matter the situation, it... it is reassurance I think I need for myself just as much.
[Jeremiah simply misses her, terribly, horribly. His unwavering brand of devotion was never only reserved for the royal family, attached to a few members of his own, among which he now counts Anya, easily. Of course it pains him, even as his tone remains stiff for a topic this sensitive.]
Should this request succeed, I should hope that others can find peace of mind as well.
[Which may include Cornelia, but he's cautious to suggest it. No matter her demeanor, Jeremiah wouldn't think she doesn't have people she misses, but it's for similar reasons that he doesn't pry.]
[Oh, she has people she misses. People she doesn't know whether they're alive or dead. People who she hasn't seen since she left Pendragon for Japan an entire lifetime ago. A little sister she barely knows, an elder brother with whom to make amends, a knight who burst into tears when finally they were reunited. The list goes on and on and on.
And yet right now, she's really only thinking about the person she can't reach out to, the one who won't be there waiting for her, whose face she'll never see again, whose voice she'll never hear again, whose hugs and whose laughter and whose smile are already fading from her memory. She doesn't know whether to clear her mind of such thoughts or to cling to them until they're gone, too.]
What are we doing? Are we improving this mood or humouring it?
[He does it with a smile, but Jeremiah sighs rather heavily all the same.]
That's a good point. I suppose I've just had a lot on my mind.
[And admittedly, she's the safest confidant he has on a matter he's been avoiding but keenly needing perspective on. At least the thoughts are nothing new, not so raw that it drags him to a place he can't come out of.
Looking more pointedly around them, they've made their way further into the city than he'd thought, following by memory rather than counting the blocks.]
[Some moods, after all, are inescapable. Goodness knows they keep yo-yoing back into this one. And that's the problem. Like with so many of the circumstances she faces here, she is simply at a loss for what to do, for which paths to walk and which to avoid. Thus, she clarifies.]
We should chose one or the other and stick with it until it's run its course.
[Another valid point. Cornelia might not have been admonishing, but perhaps Jeremiah had been of himself. Being honest with her on this level is still hard. Sharing his woes evidently isn't so difficult, but allowing himself forgiveness for it takes a more concentrated effort than he'd thought.
So he looks to her briefly, then to the road ahead.]
Which, I'm not sure I can say. I'd been hoping the initial change of scenery would help, but perhaps we won't know until we arrive.
[Bars can often be good mood-changers... and sometimes bad ones, too. At least it takes a pinch more misery and a lot more alcohol to turn him into something like a weepy drunk, so the chances might be looking up.]
[Not that they were delaying or stalling or anything of that sort, but would she really be a member of the imperial family if she didn't phrase things with a little extra dramatic flair? No. No she would not. It's genetic.]
[Jeremiah just hums an acknowledgment. It feels like a placeholder for the "Yes, Your Highness" that he can only think to offer otherwise, but he holds it. Frankly, it's already starting to feel out of place. What is appropriate between them feels up in the air these days, but even with the persistent heaviness dragging at them, he really is glad for her company.
The last few blocks pass without much fanfare. Once they reach the bar, Jeremiah steps forward to the door and opens it for her with a gesture, allowing himself at least this much.]
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The silence they're left with is heavy, but not exactly uncomfortable. When Cornelia speaks again, he takes a moment longer still to reply.]
Not as far as I'm aware. [Sometimes he felt like being sequestered to rural France was the same as living under a rock, but they were both present at the wedding.] I admit, I actually hadn't thought of it that way.
[Doing so does lighten his expression, easing the knit of his brow, at least. The loops in time may not close themselves perfectly, but a gap no longer seems like an inevitability. Assuming he does ever escape this place, anyway.]
no subject
In before they learn that alternate realities are possible and they have to confront the whole "did we just create a new reality by coming here" issue.]Regardless of the truth, I'm sorry that you were taken from her. It's not easy.
[The words being alone might have completed that thought if she was a more open person, but instead she keeps that part of things to herself. But without Euphy, without Darlton, without Guilford, without Schneizel, without any of the people or the places or the systems within which she once found comfort, she is a little lost, too, and ill-equipped to figure out how to create a community among people who may be familiar but who aren't really a part of her world.]
no subject
Hopefully not, because y i k e s. Jerry might lose his head for real.There's a certain admission to weakness that keeps Jeremiah quiet, at first. He has every reason to do this for Anya's sake, and no matter what's occurring back home, he surely has to return to her at some point or another. But the urgency he feels, the stubborn fixation of his thoughts comes from more than that.]
No, it isn't. To be honest, no matter the situation, it... it is reassurance I think I need for myself just as much.
[Jeremiah simply misses her, terribly, horribly. His unwavering brand of devotion was never only reserved for the royal family, attached to a few members of his own, among which he now counts Anya, easily. Of course it pains him, even as his tone remains stiff for a topic this sensitive.]
Should this request succeed, I should hope that others can find peace of mind as well.
[Which may include Cornelia, but he's cautious to suggest it. No matter her demeanor, Jeremiah wouldn't think she doesn't have people she misses, but it's for similar reasons that he doesn't pry.]
no subject
And yet right now, she's really only thinking about the person she can't reach out to, the one who won't be there waiting for her, whose face she'll never see again, whose voice she'll never hear again, whose hugs and whose laughter and whose smile are already fading from her memory. She doesn't know whether to clear her mind of such thoughts or to cling to them until they're gone, too.]
What are we doing? Are we improving this mood or humouring it?
no subject
That's a good point. I suppose I've just had a lot on my mind.
[And admittedly, she's the safest confidant he has on a matter he's been avoiding but keenly needing perspective on. At least the thoughts are nothing new, not so raw that it drags him to a place he can't come out of.
Looking more pointedly around them, they've made their way further into the city than he'd thought, following by memory rather than counting the blocks.]
We aren't terribly far off, now.
no subject
[Some moods, after all, are inescapable. Goodness knows they keep yo-yoing back into this one. And that's the problem. Like with so many of the circumstances she faces here, she is simply at a loss for what to do, for which paths to walk and which to avoid. Thus, she clarifies.]
We should chose one or the other and stick with it until it's run its course.
no subject
So he looks to her briefly, then to the road ahead.]
Which, I'm not sure I can say. I'd been hoping the initial change of scenery would help, but perhaps we won't know until we arrive.
[Bars can often be good mood-changers... and sometimes bad ones, too. At least it takes a pinch more misery and a lot more alcohol to turn him into something like a weepy drunk, so the chances might be looking up.]
no subject
[Not that they were delaying or stalling or anything of that sort, but would she really be a member of the imperial family if she didn't phrase things with a little extra dramatic flair? No. No she would not. It's genetic.]
no subject
The last few blocks pass without much fanfare. Once they reach the bar, Jeremiah steps forward to the door and opens it for her with a gesture, allowing himself at least this much.]
After you.