"You've reached the inbox of Jeremiah Gottwald. I'm unavailable at the moment, but leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."
[He should swing by the ranch someday when Jeremiah's got a shift. The man actually wears jeans. A collared shirt still, of course, although his boss might be angling to do away with that.
For Suzaku, though, he just smiles in a way that says he wasn't expecting it.]
Thank you. [He feels bare in a suit without resting over his breastbone, but that's just going to have to be the running theme of today, isn't it? With an honesty to pair with it:] I'd say the same of you, this afternoon.
[Just because it's true. Easy to take just for flirtation, maybe, but Suzaku just looks better when he's... happy. Healthy and content. It's easy to mirror, a relief from the tone of their conversation, the awkwardness preceding it. The walk is nice, as is the resort, for all the wear on things. Jeremiah's begun finding a sort of charm in that.]
I haven't, no. To be fair, this would be my first occasion for it.
[He peers at his own in his hands briefly, assured it was a correct size but not yet unfolding it. Following Suzaku's guidance feels key here, so this is probably the part where he should disrobe, yet just watches the radiance on the younger man's face with a small warmth answering in his chest. Another reassurance, like a light guiding his path.]
[Whatever self-conscious Suzaku feels (Jeremiah's watching him, isn't he?) is easily overshadowed by the bath house's many whimsies. The patterning on the yukatas is minimal yet striking, and their room was clearly designed with the same deliberate, careful consideration.
It's a lot to take in, but Suzaku's eager to enjoy all the inn has to offer– especially the bath.
Without much hesitation, Suzaku tugs his shirt off overhead, folding it neatly and nestling it away in his cubby. Is it any surprise that Suzaku isn't the least bit reluctant to get undressed? Well– perhaps not, but he does hesitate when he's done away with all else but his underwear.
They've done well untangling the knotted mess that is their relationship, but... ah. Some hesitation still remains in Suzaku, some conscious need to mind himself in Jeremiah's company.]
I think that yukata will suit you. Look, the stripes are even orange. [Suzaku points at said stripes, and that's the moment he uses to strip out of his underwear and tie a towel around his waist. Someone's feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious.] I'll meet you out there. Take your time, okay?
[Aaand he's gone. Self-conscious was an understatement.]
[Jeremiah sets the garment aside for the time being, following suit and shrugging off his jacket, folding it meticulously to not crease the lapels too much. If he really needed it, he could probably hang his things up somewhere, but his concern doesn't demand it, so he brushes it aside and works on the rest of his clothing. There's a degree that does feel odd, but only when he shrugs his shirt off and realizes Suzaku hasn't seen this yet while his back is politely turned, maroon plating and orange ports down his spine. Memories of what Jeremiah did or didn't expose gnaw at him for a moment, and he falters with his belt with unease.
Suzaku's voice, though, is what breaks him out of it. Sure enough he looks to the other man and just sees him. Nothing monstrous, nothing irredeemable, just Suzaku. Suzaku without most of his clothes, to boot. It might actually be the stranger feeling, so he looks at his yukata for a moment for a neutral reason to avert his eyes. Movement in his periphery is brief, and the next thing he knows, Suzaku is in a towel and heading out.]
I won't be long.
[It's all he gets out before he's gone, anything else dying on his lips. Jeremiah makes quick enough work of the rest of it, hoping the rest of the tension can bleed itself out in the water. Tucking his own towel around his waist, he follows out the same exit to the pools, looking for a familiar head of hair.]
[That familiar shock of chestnut hair isn't hard to find. Alerted by the patter of bare feet on the cobbles, Suzaku smiles at Jeremiah over a shoulder.]
Over here.
[Suzaku's towel sits neatly folded on the nearby rocks. He doesn't shrink away when Jeremiah draws near, but straightens up instead, that smile thin and bright. Evidently, someone's gotten over himself.]
[It's reassuring to see as Jeremiah makes his way over. Of course things aren't going to mend themselves perfectly or all at once, but they're heading in the right direction.
He's not looking, though, to see if Suzaku's looking in turn, tugging his towel off and stepping in with a faint hiss as he gets a feel for the almost-too-hot water. Jeremiah sinks in rather slowly, so there's ample time, but he doesn't think much of it or feel strange. In a neutral context, there's already a kind of utilitarianism he holds towards his own body now, a little less protective after he'd been practically put on display for months in a laboratory.]
You weren't kidding. [He sighs as he sits down, closing his eyes for a moment and just soaking it in. So much better than the shower in his apartment.]
[Oh, Suzaku is certainly looking. He can't help the trajectory of his gaze, his eyes settling on Jeremiah's no matter how many times Suzaku tries to divert his attention elsewhere. Evidently, a soak in the bath's all it takes to loosen Suzaku's inhibitions to the point where he doesn't think twice about resting his cheek on Jeremiah's shoulder, settling against him.]
It's a lot like the open air baths we had in Japan. [Is... is Suzaku wrapping his arm around Jeremiah's? Why yes, he certainly is.] I only got to bathe in one a few times as a child, but they feel very nostalgic.
[Suzaku heaves a contented sigh, all but cuddling with the arm he's accosted. Ah. What's gotten into Suzaku?]
[What Jeremiah catches in his periphery doesn't surprise him, nor draw much of a flush to his face in retrospect. He did expect it, to a degree; he isn't trying to tempt the other man, but removing some barriers might help spark a conversation.
What he doesn't expect is the touching. It doesn't feel unwelcome, so Jeremiah remains settled as they are, pressed up against a remarkable amount of bare skin. Maybe he should discourage it, but Suzaku seems so keen on physical contact that he just doesn't want to, relaxing into the water, into the hold. Like on the beach, how he'd been surprised by receiving a hug and yet had so readily accepted the gesture. Or how he'd drunkenly snuggled up to Lelouch during their attempt to make peace. Like he really doesn't get enough of it.]
It seems that way. [Not that Jeremiah would know the traditional trappings of an onsen, the clothes provided the only real tip-off.] Being outside is... different, but quite pleasant. The fresh air makes it far less stifling than an indoor bath.
[In the vast wasteland of Suzaku's mind is the dim awareness that maybe, just maybe, there's something odd about clinging to Jeremiah like a lovestruck tween. Suzaku looks up into Jeremiah's eyes like he needs an adult, because really, this... this isn't normal, is it? He doesn't normally cuddle with Jeremiah, of all people.]
Jeremiah... [HELP ME] You— you kind of...
[By the time Suzaku is fully aware that is body and mind are no longer his to command, he's lost the ability to do a damn thing about it. But boy, does he try. Now, if he can only manage to ask Jeremiah for help—]
[The disconnect between the alarm in his eyes and the words that come out of his mouth help, a little. They also don't give Jeremiah much to work with, so he's mostly just at a loss with what to do now, only that something might be off.]
Do I? [Nailed it. What a team they make. No, this won't work, something's definitely wrong.]
Suzaku, are you feeling all right?
[For all that he may be able to answer that. Jeremiah doesn't pull away, doesn't move to, what, feel for his temperature? Like that would be an objective indicator, being in a hot spring and all.]
[Ah. The answer to how Suzaku's feeling is nothing but a resounding ah, his gaze glassy and his sights fixed on nothing in particular. Were he able, he'd tell Jeremiah that he isn't feeling fine at all, the already tenuous grip he'd held on his psyche cleanly severed by the mysterious qualities of the hot spring's waters.
Swooning unsteadily where he sits pressed against Jeremiah, Suzaku looks up at him with big, admiring eyes. Help him.]
I want to smell like oranges too.
[Oh, maybe he should wink to seal the deal, but... gosh, Suzaku's forgotten how to do even that. Hot springs are a hell of a drug. He'll just reach right around and squeeze Jeremiah's ass instead. Yeah, that'll do it.]
[Suzaku may smell oranges, but all Jeremiah smells is trouble. The fog over his expression is enough to draw concern to the forefront, yet his response isn't to jump into action, even put space between them. It's the water somehow, surely, but he isn't ready to entertain the idea that they've been tricked into anything abnormal.]
You must be overheating, we sh- [And then there's a hand on his bare butt and his hopes of normalcy get dashed. Jeremiah yelps instead of finishing his trail of thought, reaching down and snatching Suzaku's wrist, pulling it away.]
Suzaku! Don't just do that without permission.
[Wait. That doesn't sound right. Or it does, but it's not quite the right tone. This isn't what they came here for. Is it?]
[But the booty called and Suzaku answered?! Seriously, it sure felt like an ass just begging to be grabbed, but ah, Jeremiah's mad... No, he's probably just embarrassed. Suzaku fixes those big, innocent doe-eyes on him and pouts, because he didn't mean to! He swears!!]
I-I'm sorry! My hand just moved on its own...
[...and now his other hand is moving around to the front to make a grab for something else. Act fast, Jerry.]
It's just– I've always thought that, ah... you look like a s-snack. [STRUGGLING] N-no, I mean– ...I think I've lost control of my mouth.
[Jeremiah grasps and pushes his arm away before he can stray too close, not harshly. A discouragement but not a rejection. Of course this would be an easy way for them to move closer, to chart a different course of actions towards something they could enjoy together-
Which definitely wasn't his plan when he said yes to meeting up this afternoon.]
Something is afoot here, we... [He trails off, at once his suggestion souring in his head before he finishes it. They should get out, should leave, but Jeremiah just sits holding Suzaku's wrists. His skin is pleasant under his touch, dragging his gaze up his arm, the definition of slim muscles, the curve of his shoulder. Suzaku's a handsome man, wore skintight clothing unfairly well. It goes to reason he'd look this good without them.]
We could leave. [Could, not should, like he ought to have said but didn't. The timetable's moving up too fast, yet the opportunity in front of him seems better with each second spent in the water.] Or we can discuss it, honestly this time.
[They could leave, couldn't they? But Suzaku finds himself more comfortable in Jeremiah's company than he ought to be, especially when he's offered something beyond the rejection he was expecting to receive. Why had he been expecting one at all? When had he begun to think of this as a proposition?
Suzaku's heart beats erratic in his chest and it takes real, concerted effort to keep his vision from swimming. It's not unlike being drunk in that way, but in every other way, Suzaku finds his senses sharpened rather than dulled. God damn, Jerry. Have you always looked this fine?]
Discuss it honestly... [Ah? Discuss what, exactly? Tongue-tied, Suzaku fumbles over his own words.] L-let's. I want to know what you have in mind for me.
[...for me, he says, like his body knows what it wants while his mind struggles to keep pace. Troubled by that disconnect, Suzaku bites his bottom lip.]
[While he hasn't released his wrists, Jeremiah's hold has relaxed already, the burn of skin under his far too nice to let go. His impulses are getting away from him, nothing bizarre planting itself in his mind, just a pressure to put into motion the things he's thought of mostly in passing before. He'd been waiting for the right time, the right precedent.
Jeremiah watches Suzaku bite his lip and feels a flood of heat let loose in him. To hell with waiting.]
Only what you're open to, what's comfortable for both of us.
[His eyes turn back to his hands, idly rubbing over the bones in one of Suzaku's wrists with his thumb. He could easily pull from his grip now. Jeremiah's simply drawn to touch, itching to seize those lips again with his own if he wasn't even more keen on talking first. His urgency is in wanting, but what he wants isn't to rush their do-over.]
I know you enjoy pain, but surely you enjoy pleasure by itself as well. What sorts of things feel good for you? Where do you like to be touched?
[Ah, but that's the question, isn't it? What's comfortable for Suzaku might very well not be for Jeremiah. It's a troubling thought that wouldn't plague Suzaku if he hadn't subjected Jeremiah to the sharp edge of his cruelty not that long ago. Still... it's a distant thought, no doubt made so by the water they're steeping in. Something's definitely wrong, but at present, Suzaku doesn't care to be right.
Suzaku could easily pull his arm back, but Jeremiahs touch is too pleasant to consider it. Instead, Suzaku leaves it in his care, little electric jolts running along his skin whenever that thumb slides over an artery. His pulse, of course, has taken a turn for the rapid, hammering oh so loudly in his ears.]
...I do enjoy it. Pleasure by itself, that is.
[Doesn't everyone? All the same, Suzaku's cheeks take on a bit of color. He shouldn't be ashamed to have this sort of conversation with Jeremiah... and yet. Tentatively, he takes hold of Jeremiah's hand and guides it to his chest.]
There are a lot of things that feel good for me... but I'm sensitive here, [On his chest, naturally. Suzaku guides that hand up along the column of his neck.] and here, and... well. Lower too, but I guess that's a given. What about you, Jeremiah?
[When Suzaku asks so earnestly, it'd be harder not to answer in kind.]
[It's why Jeremiah urges for words first, urges for clarity and directness. Laying the groundwork helps give them better space, put boundaries into place that they can push up against but not push past. Of course this isn't the ideal, of course it's awkward and clunky, but it's been floating enough in Jeremiah's mind that he's less and less afraid to reach for the opportunity. Sorting it out this way might work for the both of them.
What matters now is if Suzaku's willing to seize it as well, and then to what extent.]
All right. [He smooths his hand over the side of Suzaku's neck, mapping the warmth of his skin, the tendons and muscles beneath.] I'm sensitive along the back of my neck and along my hairline... ah, my scalp as well. [Yeah, that's basically an invitation to fuck his precious hair up. He permits it in situations like this, for how it feels.] And low on my back.
[Jeremiah finally releases his hold on his other wrist, his own pulse swift. Starting slow sounds torturous right now, but it seems all the more reason to aim for it. Suzaku may be willing, but everything else running through his head can still be present, and Jeremiah doesn't want this to be a needless strain on either of them. He's not afraid to have part of the conversation, illustrate his own willingness, through actions. It just takes a little time.]
Hands above the waist, for the moment. I want... I want to feel it out before doing more than that. [And he certainly does want. Oh boy.] We can take it from there.
[Feeling that hand smooth down the gentle slope of his neck has Suzaku fighting not to shiver. It's a fight he ultimately loses, given over to easy tremors and soft little sighs. This water's done a number on him, his nerves like live wires just beneath the surface of his skin, yet he can't help but cede to them. Can't help but enjoy vulnerability for once in his life, leaning his weight against Jeremiah's side.
It's all a bit much, at once. Suzaku thinks to comb his fingers through Jeremiah's hair, bites his lip and thinks better of it. I shouldn't, but oh, does he want to. Still, it's never been a question of want. Suzaku understands his bodily desires better than most.]
Right. Then... I'll be gentle.
[Mindful is the word Suzaku had been looking for, really. Toying with the hairs at the nape of Jeremiah's nape, Suzaku gingerly introduces his hand to the full sweep of his hair.]
I'm surprised. It's much softer than I thought it would be.
[And it's incredibly fun to tousle. If Suzaku's getting carried away, he won't be the one to say so, sitting up on his knees to better fuss with that silky hair.]
[It's well worth it for reassurance it leaves Jeremiah with, sighing out tension as Suzaku's hands find their way onto him. He wants this to be something better, enough so to hold on to what control he's left with. Having that touch be so gentle and wanted feels right, feels like movement in that direction. If anything, it's a relief.
Then again, he's never felt more driven to seek better ground with Suzaku this way, to show through a degree of action that he's not fearful. Without tremors in the younger man's hands or any recoil to the contact, he hopes it reaches both ways.]
The, ah, the steam has likely loosened up the product I put in. [It's Jeremiah's turn to shiver. Of course he goes all in, once given permission.] Though I do take good care of it, in general.
[He's well-distracted, but Jeremiah slides his hand to Suzaku's shoulder, his other hand flitting to his side. Under the water, their bodies brush enough to get those sparks running through him, gently hooking his ankle over one of his shins to draw ever closer. Chaste, yet intimate.]
Mn... that feels good, Suzaku.
[Just in case he wasn't sure. With his impulses driving him, Jeremiah can't help trying to reassure, verbally.]
[Jeremiah's letting these hands of his roam, rewarding Suzaku's curiosity with contact, and so they'll continue to wander as far as they're permitted.
It's progress, isn't it? Progress towards something more nebulous than seeking out common ground through conversation alone. A touch can convey what words alone can't, and when words so often fail Suzaku, he finds himself falling back on gestures like these to convey the weight of his feelings.
...which doesn't accomplish much when doesn't can't parse what it is he feels in this moment, as curious as he is anxious. After everything he's done to Jeremiah, he'd be justified in pushing him away... but he doesn't.
But he won't. He invites Suzaku to lavish him in attention and so Suzaku does, letting his hands wander down over the nape of Jeremiah's neck, feeling out the ports that decorate his spine, the stark contrast between human skin and cool metal.]
It does? [Ah, he's almost surprised. The last thing Suzaku expects to feel good to Jeremiah are these hands wandering along this body. Slowly but surely, however, he's warming up to it. Not like he can help it.] I'm relieved... Your body feels good under my hands.
[And his hair, of course, but Suzaku's hands have evidently done a bit more wandering. Down they go, coasting over Jeremiah's chest and fixating on the pulse beating beneath his skin, so taken by it that Suzaku can't help resting his cheek against that thrumming heart. His lips brush against Jeremiah's chest as he speaks, looking up a him with bright eyes. Naturally, he has no problem sidling closer.]
[It feels worlds different like this. Suzaku's hands burn in a way that make Jeremiah only want to push for more, sighing and arching slightly to meet it. His willingness is easier to convey through physical means, so it seems. Certainly it seems more clearly received, this way.
Jeremiah can understand. Learning through doing isn't always the approach he takes, but it's still his favorite method.]
It does. [His tone only confirms it, doubling down, smile soft and easy at the younger man. Traces of doubt have all but left him, fear that his body might recoil even if his mind remains willing a distant concern.
Suzaku only seems to grow bolder the longer the contact lasts, the press of his face so pleasant that Jeremiah's hand slides back up, brushing over the skin of his neck to sink just his fingertips into those curls. There's undeniable appeal when he looks up, so eager to please and to give that Jeremiah slowly relinquishes his own insistence to map Suzaku out just as hungrily. They have time to get to the rest.]
Go ahead. I trust you.
[Easily lost but easily regained, for him. He doesn't need to tack on the "now" at the end of that statement. Jeremiah knows he's listened, knows their terms.]
[Jeremiah susses out his weakness just a little too easily. What is he, a cop? No, the water’s just that conducive to heightening sensitivity, it seems. Suzaku is well aware, yet he cares little to stray and mind his space, leaning against Jeremiah and only wanting for more of him.
All the same, Jeremiah’s too giving, much too forgiving, a thought that hasn’t left Suzaku since their conversation in his apartment. He has the water to thank for easing his troubled mind, but he has Jeremiah to thank for soothing it.]
Alright, [Suzaku swallows, righting himself to sit just a little taller.] Excuse me.
[Pardon the intrusion, or rather, please welcome it. Suzaku shifts, tilts his head to one side to capture Jeremiah’s lips with his own. They’re very inviting, those lips. Even so, jolts like electric shocks course up and down Suzaku’s spine, the taste of them not nearly as citrusy as anticipated. What a rip, he wants his money back.
Except... no. This kiss is more than good enough on its own, Jeremiah’s lips pliant and yielding and far too inviting for their own good. Suzaku can’t bring himself to part from them, tempting fate and begging entrance into that mouth with the tip of his tongue.]
[It's a comfort to pull in close, skin pressed on skin, the warmth shared that burns differently than the water. Jeremiah himself can't resist shifting his hand around to Suzaku's other side, curling his arm about his waist to keep him there. He sees no reason to play modest about it now, not when the draw to hold him is so strong, plenty of contact between their bodies without overstepping the boundaries set.
The fact that it comes so easily still surprises him. There's a larger conversation he knows he wants to have, but for a trial run, this feels like enough. Enough to prove a point of his own wellbeing, enough to sate the curious urge to reach in turn for him.
When Suzaku leans in close, Jeremiah's eyes close easily, leaning to bridge some of that distance as their lips meet. It's so much more gentle this time it's almost startling, his lips warm and plush and not waiting long to part. Jeremiah invites him in this time when asked, in a way, opening up under the contact and lapping at him in a curious, gentle graze of his tongue on the other man's. He kisses Suzaku slow but thorough, getting a proper feel for him rather than a forceful exchange or rushed plea, working tingles of sensation down into his core. It's then that Jeremiah feels his body respond in a want for more, sighing through his nose far more breathily than he'd intended.
Impulses strong, he reminds himself to have patience, to stick to his own rules. All good things in time. For now, that other hand of his drifts down to Suzaku's shoulder, past his collarbone to rest over his heart, splaying easily over one side of his chest. He doesn't give the impression of it from his toned build but he's actually not very big, not next to Jeremiah's broad shoulders and large hands.]
[The kiss itself wouldn't be so overwhelming in a normal context. In fact, it's entirely Suzaku's fault that it is, the wet heat of Jeremiah's mouth as familiar as it is intimidating territory.
He hurt Jeremiah. Through something as simple and intimate as a kiss, he'd hurt him and forced his hand. For a moment, Suzaku's tongue stills. He's reminded of that acerbic pill, how it tasted on his tongue. Reminded of how he forced it onto Jeremiah's and how its staggering effects were almost immediate.
He shouldn't be thinking about that now, not after Jeremiah had forgiven Suzaku his very worst transgressions... and yet he does. Yet he whispers a muted apology against his lips. He wants this to be better. He wants this to be pleasant, but more than anything, Suzaku wants for more of it.
More of this pleasant feeling. More of the warmth they share between them. Jeremiah's hand eclipses his heart and Suzaku breaks into a full-body shudder, his own hand coming up to loosely latch onto it.]
...does it feel good? This time.
[This time isn't lent as much of a voice as it should have been.]
[Jeremiah isn't sure how else to interpret the flicker of hesitation, and it makes his chest ache. Of course they'll need to talk more, he's already decided as much. Not just for the things Jeremiah wants to say, but for Suzaku's sake. Last time was too laden with heavy feelings and alcohol for him to open everything up, to speak with complete honesty.
It didn't feel right then to tell him it did feel good, even in a way it shouldn't have. It doesn't feel right to tell him now either, the whole thing too complex and fraught to broach while close like this. Jeremiah isn't sure why it all came together as it did, but he hasn't sought too hard for an answer. Not yet, not when it felt too raw to reach out.]
Very good. [His answer is hushed, delving right back in for quick seconds, mouth slick as he licks into Suzaku's this time. Good enough that he wants to rush for thirds, fourths, but he might not want to stop at all if he did.
Not that he's anywhere close to it, every shift bringing a brush of skin against skin, his hand squeezing at his pectoral, grazing the bump of his nipple against the edge of his palm. Those slender, defined muscles of his feel lovely under his touch in turn, tempting a greedier hand that he refrains from. He's not sure how far to take this here, but the urges he's so easily succumbing to don't seem to have an endpoint, tempting thoughts slipping their way into the forefront and demanding his consideration.]
You feel wonderful. [Drifting down this time, Jeremiah brushes a kiss to the side of his neck. Already, he wants to press down harder, settling for the gentlest tease of his skin between barely-parted lips, murmuring against him.] I want... more of you.
[Shit. No helping his tongue any more than his thoughts, right now. Jeremiah's face flares with heat, stalling where he doesn't have to face the other man quite yet.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bro don't even sweat it bro i got u
For Suzaku, though, he just smiles in a way that says he wasn't expecting it.]
Thank you. [He feels bare in a suit without resting over his breastbone, but that's just going to have to be the running theme of today, isn't it? With an honesty to pair with it:] I'd say the same of you, this afternoon.
[Just because it's true. Easy to take just for flirtation, maybe, but Suzaku just looks better when he's... happy. Healthy and content. It's easy to mirror, a relief from the tone of their conversation, the awkwardness preceding it. The walk is nice, as is the resort, for all the wear on things. Jeremiah's begun finding a sort of charm in that.]
I haven't, no. To be fair, this would be my first occasion for it.
[He peers at his own in his hands briefly, assured it was a correct size but not yet unfolding it. Following Suzaku's guidance feels key here, so this is probably the part where he should disrobe, yet just watches the radiance on the younger man's face with a small warmth answering in his chest. Another reassurance, like a light guiding his path.]
It's good to finally have one.
sweats profusely
It's a lot to take in, but Suzaku's eager to enjoy all the inn has to offer– especially the bath.
Without much hesitation, Suzaku tugs his shirt off overhead, folding it neatly and nestling it away in his cubby. Is it any surprise that Suzaku isn't the least bit reluctant to get undressed? Well– perhaps not, but he does hesitate when he's done away with all else but his underwear.
They've done well untangling the knotted mess that is their relationship, but... ah. Some hesitation still remains in Suzaku, some conscious need to mind himself in Jeremiah's company.]
I think that yukata will suit you. Look, the stripes are even orange. [Suzaku points at said stripes, and that's the moment he uses to strip out of his underwear and tie a towel around his waist. Someone's feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious.] I'll meet you out there. Take your time, okay?
[Aaand he's gone. Self-conscious was an understatement.]
dabs with a towel
Suzaku's voice, though, is what breaks him out of it. Sure enough he looks to the other man and just sees him. Nothing monstrous, nothing irredeemable, just Suzaku. Suzaku without most of his clothes, to boot. It might actually be the stranger feeling, so he looks at his yukata for a moment for a neutral reason to avert his eyes. Movement in his periphery is brief, and the next thing he knows, Suzaku is in a towel and heading out.]
I won't be long.
[It's all he gets out before he's gone, anything else dying on his lips. Jeremiah makes quick enough work of the rest of it, hoping the rest of the tension can bleed itself out in the water. Tucking his own towel around his waist, he follows out the same exit to the pools, looking for a familiar head of hair.]
no subject
Over here.
[Suzaku's towel sits neatly folded on the nearby rocks. He doesn't shrink away when Jeremiah draws near, but straightens up instead, that smile thin and bright. Evidently, someone's gotten over himself.]
Come on in. The water's perfect.
no subject
He's not looking, though, to see if Suzaku's looking in turn, tugging his towel off and stepping in with a faint hiss as he gets a feel for the almost-too-hot water. Jeremiah sinks in rather slowly, so there's ample time, but he doesn't think much of it or feel strange. In a neutral context, there's already a kind of utilitarianism he holds towards his own body now, a little less protective after he'd been practically put on display for months in a laboratory.]
You weren't kidding. [He sighs as he sits down, closing his eyes for a moment and just soaking it in. So much better than the shower in his apartment.]
no subject
It's a lot like the open air baths we had in Japan. [Is... is Suzaku wrapping his arm around Jeremiah's? Why yes, he certainly is.] I only got to bathe in one a few times as a child, but they feel very nostalgic.
[Suzaku heaves a contented sigh, all but cuddling with the arm he's accosted. Ah. What's gotten into Suzaku?]
I'm glad I can share the experience with you.
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What he doesn't expect is the touching. It doesn't feel unwelcome, so Jeremiah remains settled as they are, pressed up against a remarkable amount of bare skin. Maybe he should discourage it, but Suzaku seems so keen on physical contact that he just doesn't want to, relaxing into the water, into the hold. Like on the beach, how he'd been surprised by receiving a hug and yet had so readily accepted the gesture. Or how he'd drunkenly snuggled up to Lelouch during their attempt to make peace. Like he really doesn't get enough of it.]
It seems that way. [Not that Jeremiah would know the traditional trappings of an onsen, the clothes provided the only real tip-off.] Being outside is... different, but quite pleasant. The fresh air makes it far less stifling than an indoor bath.
[He smiles softly.] I'm glad for it as well.
no subject
Jeremiah... [HELP ME] You— you kind of...
[By the time Suzaku is fully aware that is body and mind are no longer his to command, he's lost the ability to do a damn thing about it. But boy, does he try. Now, if he can only manage to ask Jeremiah for help—]
You really— s-smell like oranges.
[Yes, perfect.]
no subject
Do I? [Nailed it. What a team they make. No, this won't work, something's definitely wrong.]
Suzaku, are you feeling all right?
[For all that he may be able to answer that. Jeremiah doesn't pull away, doesn't move to, what, feel for his temperature? Like that would be an objective indicator, being in a hot spring and all.]
no subject
[Ah. The answer to how Suzaku's feeling is nothing but a resounding ah, his gaze glassy and his sights fixed on nothing in particular. Were he able, he'd tell Jeremiah that he isn't feeling fine at all, the already tenuous grip he'd held on his psyche cleanly severed by the mysterious qualities of the hot spring's waters.
Swooning unsteadily where he sits pressed against Jeremiah, Suzaku looks up at him with big, admiring eyes. Help him.]
I want to smell like oranges too.
[Oh, maybe he should wink to seal the deal, but... gosh, Suzaku's forgotten how to do even that. Hot springs are a hell of a drug. He'll just reach right around and squeeze Jeremiah's ass instead. Yeah, that'll do it.]
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You must be overheating, we sh- [And then there's a hand on his bare butt and his hopes of normalcy get dashed. Jeremiah yelps instead of finishing his trail of thought, reaching down and snatching Suzaku's wrist, pulling it away.]
Suzaku! Don't just do that without permission.
[Wait. That doesn't sound right. Or it does, but it's not quite the right tone. This isn't what they came here for. Is it?]
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I-I'm sorry! My hand just moved on its own...
[...and now his other hand is moving around to the front to make a grab for something else. Act fast, Jerry.]
It's just– I've always thought that, ah... you look like a s-snack. [STRUGGLING] N-no, I mean– ...I think I've lost control of my mouth.
[You don't say.]
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[Jeremiah grasps and pushes his arm away before he can stray too close, not harshly. A discouragement but not a rejection. Of course this would be an easy way for them to move closer, to chart a different course of actions towards something they could enjoy together-
Which definitely wasn't his plan when he said yes to meeting up this afternoon.]
Something is afoot here, we... [He trails off, at once his suggestion souring in his head before he finishes it. They should get out, should leave, but Jeremiah just sits holding Suzaku's wrists. His skin is pleasant under his touch, dragging his gaze up his arm, the definition of slim muscles, the curve of his shoulder. Suzaku's a handsome man, wore skintight clothing unfairly well. It goes to reason he'd look this good without them.]
We could leave. [Could, not should, like he ought to have said but didn't. The timetable's moving up too fast, yet the opportunity in front of him seems better with each second spent in the water.] Or we can discuss it, honestly this time.
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Suzaku's heart beats erratic in his chest and it takes real, concerted effort to keep his vision from swimming. It's not unlike being drunk in that way, but in every other way, Suzaku finds his senses sharpened rather than dulled. God damn, Jerry. Have you always looked this fine?]
Discuss it honestly... [Ah? Discuss what, exactly? Tongue-tied, Suzaku fumbles over his own words.] L-let's. I want to know what you have in mind for me.
[...for me, he says, like his body knows what it wants while his mind struggles to keep pace. Troubled by that disconnect, Suzaku bites his bottom lip.]
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Jeremiah watches Suzaku bite his lip and feels a flood of heat let loose in him. To hell with waiting.]
Only what you're open to, what's comfortable for both of us.
[His eyes turn back to his hands, idly rubbing over the bones in one of Suzaku's wrists with his thumb. He could easily pull from his grip now. Jeremiah's simply drawn to touch, itching to seize those lips again with his own if he wasn't even more keen on talking first. His urgency is in wanting, but what he wants isn't to rush their do-over.]
I know you enjoy pain, but surely you enjoy pleasure by itself as well. What sorts of things feel good for you? Where do you like to be touched?
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Suzaku could easily pull his arm back, but Jeremiahs touch is too pleasant to consider it. Instead, Suzaku leaves it in his care, little electric jolts running along his skin whenever that thumb slides over an artery. His pulse, of course, has taken a turn for the rapid, hammering oh so loudly in his ears.]
...I do enjoy it. Pleasure by itself, that is.
[Doesn't everyone? All the same, Suzaku's cheeks take on a bit of color. He shouldn't be ashamed to have this sort of conversation with Jeremiah... and yet. Tentatively, he takes hold of Jeremiah's hand and guides it to his chest.]
There are a lot of things that feel good for me... but I'm sensitive here, [On his chest, naturally. Suzaku guides that hand up along the column of his neck.] and here, and... well. Lower too, but I guess that's a given. What about you, Jeremiah?
[When Suzaku asks so earnestly, it'd be harder not to answer in kind.]
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What matters now is if Suzaku's willing to seize it as well, and then to what extent.]
All right. [He smooths his hand over the side of Suzaku's neck, mapping the warmth of his skin, the tendons and muscles beneath.] I'm sensitive along the back of my neck and along my hairline... ah, my scalp as well. [Yeah, that's basically an invitation to fuck his precious hair up. He permits it in situations like this, for how it feels.] And low on my back.
[Jeremiah finally releases his hold on his other wrist, his own pulse swift. Starting slow sounds torturous right now, but it seems all the more reason to aim for it. Suzaku may be willing, but everything else running through his head can still be present, and Jeremiah doesn't want this to be a needless strain on either of them. He's not afraid to have part of the conversation, illustrate his own willingness, through actions. It just takes a little time.]
Hands above the waist, for the moment. I want... I want to feel it out before doing more than that. [And he certainly does want. Oh boy.] We can take it from there.
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It's all a bit much, at once. Suzaku thinks to comb his fingers through Jeremiah's hair, bites his lip and thinks better of it. I shouldn't, but oh, does he want to. Still, it's never been a question of want. Suzaku understands his bodily desires better than most.]
Right. Then... I'll be gentle.
[Mindful is the word Suzaku had been looking for, really. Toying with the hairs at the nape of Jeremiah's nape, Suzaku gingerly introduces his hand to the full sweep of his hair.]
I'm surprised. It's much softer than I thought it would be.
[And it's incredibly fun to tousle. If Suzaku's getting carried away, he won't be the one to say so, sitting up on his knees to better fuss with that silky hair.]
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Then again, he's never felt more driven to seek better ground with Suzaku this way, to show through a degree of action that he's not fearful. Without tremors in the younger man's hands or any recoil to the contact, he hopes it reaches both ways.]
The, ah, the steam has likely loosened up the product I put in. [It's Jeremiah's turn to shiver. Of course he goes all in, once given permission.] Though I do take good care of it, in general.
[He's well-distracted, but Jeremiah slides his hand to Suzaku's shoulder, his other hand flitting to his side. Under the water, their bodies brush enough to get those sparks running through him, gently hooking his ankle over one of his shins to draw ever closer. Chaste, yet intimate.]
Mn... that feels good, Suzaku.
[Just in case he wasn't sure. With his impulses driving him, Jeremiah can't help trying to reassure, verbally.]
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It's progress, isn't it? Progress towards something more nebulous than seeking out common ground through conversation alone. A touch can convey what words alone can't, and when words so often fail Suzaku, he finds himself falling back on gestures like these to convey the weight of his feelings.
...which doesn't accomplish much when doesn't can't parse what it is he feels in this moment, as curious as he is anxious. After everything he's done to Jeremiah, he'd be justified in pushing him away... but he doesn't.
But he won't. He invites Suzaku to lavish him in attention and so Suzaku does, letting his hands wander down over the nape of Jeremiah's neck, feeling out the ports that decorate his spine, the stark contrast between human skin and cool metal.]
It does? [Ah, he's almost surprised. The last thing Suzaku expects to feel good to Jeremiah are these hands wandering along this body. Slowly but surely, however, he's warming up to it. Not like he can help it.] I'm relieved... Your body feels good under my hands.
[And his hair, of course, but Suzaku's hands have evidently done a bit more wandering. Down they go, coasting over Jeremiah's chest and fixating on the pulse beating beneath his skin, so taken by it that Suzaku can't help resting his cheek against that thrumming heart. His lips brush against Jeremiah's chest as he speaks, looking up a him with bright eyes. Naturally, he has no problem sidling closer.]
I want to make you feel even better.
[I owe you that much, don't I?]
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Jeremiah can understand. Learning through doing isn't always the approach he takes, but it's still his favorite method.]
It does. [His tone only confirms it, doubling down, smile soft and easy at the younger man. Traces of doubt have all but left him, fear that his body might recoil even if his mind remains willing a distant concern.
Suzaku only seems to grow bolder the longer the contact lasts, the press of his face so pleasant that Jeremiah's hand slides back up, brushing over the skin of his neck to sink just his fingertips into those curls. There's undeniable appeal when he looks up, so eager to please and to give that Jeremiah slowly relinquishes his own insistence to map Suzaku out just as hungrily. They have time to get to the rest.]
Go ahead. I trust you.
[Easily lost but easily regained, for him. He doesn't need to tack on the "now" at the end of that statement. Jeremiah knows he's listened, knows their terms.]
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All the same, Jeremiah’s too giving, much too forgiving, a thought that hasn’t left Suzaku since their conversation in his apartment. He has the water to thank for easing his troubled mind, but he has Jeremiah to thank for soothing it.]
Alright, [Suzaku swallows, righting himself to sit just a little taller.] Excuse me.
[Pardon the intrusion, or rather, please welcome it. Suzaku shifts, tilts his head to one side to capture Jeremiah’s lips with his own. They’re very inviting, those lips. Even so, jolts like electric shocks course up and down Suzaku’s spine, the taste of them not nearly as citrusy as anticipated. What a rip, he wants his money back.
Except... no. This kiss is more than good enough on its own, Jeremiah’s lips pliant and yielding and far too inviting for their own good. Suzaku can’t bring himself to part from them, tempting fate and begging entrance into that mouth with the tip of his tongue.]
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The fact that it comes so easily still surprises him. There's a larger conversation he knows he wants to have, but for a trial run, this feels like enough. Enough to prove a point of his own wellbeing, enough to sate the curious urge to reach in turn for him.
When Suzaku leans in close, Jeremiah's eyes close easily, leaning to bridge some of that distance as their lips meet. It's so much more gentle this time it's almost startling, his lips warm and plush and not waiting long to part. Jeremiah invites him in this time when asked, in a way, opening up under the contact and lapping at him in a curious, gentle graze of his tongue on the other man's. He kisses Suzaku slow but thorough, getting a proper feel for him rather than a forceful exchange or rushed plea, working tingles of sensation down into his core. It's then that Jeremiah feels his body respond in a want for more, sighing through his nose far more breathily than he'd intended.
Impulses strong, he reminds himself to have patience, to stick to his own rules. All good things in time. For now, that other hand of his drifts down to Suzaku's shoulder, past his collarbone to rest over his heart, splaying easily over one side of his chest. He doesn't give the impression of it from his toned build but he's actually not very big, not next to Jeremiah's broad shoulders and large hands.]
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He hurt Jeremiah. Through something as simple and intimate as a kiss, he'd hurt him and forced his hand. For a moment, Suzaku's tongue stills. He's reminded of that acerbic pill, how it tasted on his tongue. Reminded of how he forced it onto Jeremiah's and how its staggering effects were almost immediate.
He shouldn't be thinking about that now, not after Jeremiah had forgiven Suzaku his very worst transgressions... and yet he does. Yet he whispers a muted apology against his lips. He wants this to be better. He wants this to be pleasant, but more than anything, Suzaku wants for more of it.
More of this pleasant feeling. More of the warmth they share between them. Jeremiah's hand eclipses his heart and Suzaku breaks into a full-body shudder, his own hand coming up to loosely latch onto it.]
...does it feel good? This time.
[This time isn't lent as much of a voice as it should have been.]
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It didn't feel right then to tell him it did feel good, even in a way it shouldn't have. It doesn't feel right to tell him now either, the whole thing too complex and fraught to broach while close like this. Jeremiah isn't sure why it all came together as it did, but he hasn't sought too hard for an answer. Not yet, not when it felt too raw to reach out.]
Very good. [His answer is hushed, delving right back in for quick seconds, mouth slick as he licks into Suzaku's this time. Good enough that he wants to rush for thirds, fourths, but he might not want to stop at all if he did.
Not that he's anywhere close to it, every shift bringing a brush of skin against skin, his hand squeezing at his pectoral, grazing the bump of his nipple against the edge of his palm. Those slender, defined muscles of his feel lovely under his touch in turn, tempting a greedier hand that he refrains from. He's not sure how far to take this here, but the urges he's so easily succumbing to don't seem to have an endpoint, tempting thoughts slipping their way into the forefront and demanding his consideration.]
You feel wonderful. [Drifting down this time, Jeremiah brushes a kiss to the side of his neck. Already, he wants to press down harder, settling for the gentlest tease of his skin between barely-parted lips, murmuring against him.] I want... more of you.
[Shit. No helping his tongue any more than his thoughts, right now. Jeremiah's face flares with heat, stalling where he doesn't have to face the other man quite yet.]
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