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Ah.

[Ah. The answer to how Suzaku's feeling is nothing but a resounding ah, his gaze glassy and his sights fixed on nothing in particular. Were he able, he'd tell Jeremiah that he isn't feeling fine at all, the already tenuous grip he'd held on his psyche cleanly severed by the mysterious qualities of the hot spring's waters.

Swooning unsteadily where he sits pressed against Jeremiah, Suzaku looks up at him with big, admiring eyes. Help him.]

I want to smell like oranges too.

[Oh, maybe he should wink to seal the deal, but... gosh, Suzaku's forgotten how to do even that. Hot springs are a hell of a drug. He'll just reach right around and squeeze Jeremiah's ass instead. Yeah, that'll do it.]

[Suzaku may smell oranges, but all Jeremiah smells is trouble. The fog over his expression is enough to draw concern to the forefront, yet his response isn't to jump into action, even put space between them. It's the water somehow, surely, but he isn't ready to entertain the idea that they've been tricked into anything abnormal.]

You must be overheating, we sh- [And then there's a hand on his bare butt and his hopes of normalcy get dashed. Jeremiah yelps instead of finishing his trail of thought, reaching down and snatching Suzaku's wrist, pulling it away.]

Suzaku! Don't just do that without permission.

[Wait. That doesn't sound right. Or it does, but it's not quite the right tone. This isn't what they came here for. Is it?]

[But the booty called and Suzaku answered?! Seriously, it sure felt like an ass just begging to be grabbed, but ah, Jeremiah's mad... No, he's probably just embarrassed. Suzaku fixes those big, innocent doe-eyes on him and pouts, because he didn't mean to! He swears!!]

I-I'm sorry! My hand just moved on its own...

[...and now his other hand is moving around to the front to make a grab for something else. Act fast, Jerry.]

It's just– I've always thought that, ah... you look like a s-snack. [STRUGGLING] N-no, I mean– ...I think I've lost control of my mouth.

[You don't say.]

Clearly.

[Jeremiah grasps and pushes his arm away before he can stray too close, not harshly. A discouragement but not a rejection. Of course this would be an easy way for them to move closer, to chart a different course of actions towards something they could enjoy together-

Which definitely wasn't his plan when he said yes to meeting up this afternoon.]

Something is afoot here, we... [He trails off, at once his suggestion souring in his head before he finishes it. They should get out, should leave, but Jeremiah just sits holding Suzaku's wrists. His skin is pleasant under his touch, dragging his gaze up his arm, the definition of slim muscles, the curve of his shoulder. Suzaku's a handsome man, wore skintight clothing unfairly well. It goes to reason he'd look this good without them.]

We could leave. [Could, not should, like he ought to have said but didn't. The timetable's moving up too fast, yet the opportunity in front of him seems better with each second spent in the water.] Or we can discuss it, honestly this time.

[They could leave, couldn't they? But Suzaku finds himself more comfortable in Jeremiah's company than he ought to be, especially when he's offered something beyond the rejection he was expecting to receive. Why had he been expecting one at all? When had he begun to think of this as a proposition?

Suzaku's heart beats erratic in his chest and it takes real, concerted effort to keep his vision from swimming. It's not unlike being drunk in that way, but in every other way, Suzaku finds his senses sharpened rather than dulled. God damn, Jerry. Have you always looked this fine?]

Discuss it honestly... [Ah? Discuss what, exactly? Tongue-tied, Suzaku fumbles over his own words.] L-let's. I want to know what you have in mind for me.

[...for me, he says, like his body knows what it wants while his mind struggles to keep pace. Troubled by that disconnect, Suzaku bites his bottom lip.]

[While he hasn't released his wrists, Jeremiah's hold has relaxed already, the burn of skin under his far too nice to let go. His impulses are getting away from him, nothing bizarre planting itself in his mind, just a pressure to put into motion the things he's thought of mostly in passing before. He'd been waiting for the right time, the right precedent.

Jeremiah watches Suzaku bite his lip and feels a flood of heat let loose in him. To hell with waiting.]

Only what you're open to, what's comfortable for both of us.

[His eyes turn back to his hands, idly rubbing over the bones in one of Suzaku's wrists with his thumb. He could easily pull from his grip now. Jeremiah's simply drawn to touch, itching to seize those lips again with his own if he wasn't even more keen on talking first. His urgency is in wanting, but what he wants isn't to rush their do-over.]

I know you enjoy pain, but surely you enjoy pleasure by itself as well. What sorts of things feel good for you? Where do you like to be touched?

[Ah, but that's the question, isn't it? What's comfortable for Suzaku might very well not be for Jeremiah. It's a troubling thought that wouldn't plague Suzaku if he hadn't subjected Jeremiah to the sharp edge of his cruelty not that long ago. Still... it's a distant thought, no doubt made so by the water they're steeping in. Something's definitely wrong, but at present, Suzaku doesn't care to be right.

Suzaku could easily pull his arm back, but Jeremiahs touch is too pleasant to consider it. Instead, Suzaku leaves it in his care, little electric jolts running along his skin whenever that thumb slides over an artery. His pulse, of course, has taken a turn for the rapid, hammering oh so loudly in his ears.]

...I do enjoy it. Pleasure by itself, that is.

[Doesn't everyone? All the same, Suzaku's cheeks take on a bit of color. He shouldn't be ashamed to have this sort of conversation with Jeremiah... and yet. Tentatively, he takes hold of Jeremiah's hand and guides it to his chest.]

There are a lot of things that feel good for me... but I'm sensitive here, [On his chest, naturally. Suzaku guides that hand up along the column of his neck.] and here, and... well. Lower too, but I guess that's a given. What about you, Jeremiah?

[When Suzaku asks so earnestly, it'd be harder not to answer in kind.]

[It's why Jeremiah urges for words first, urges for clarity and directness. Laying the groundwork helps give them better space, put boundaries into place that they can push up against but not push past. Of course this isn't the ideal, of course it's awkward and clunky, but it's been floating enough in Jeremiah's mind that he's less and less afraid to reach for the opportunity. Sorting it out this way might work for the both of them.

What matters now is if Suzaku's willing to seize it as well, and then to what extent.]

All right. [He smooths his hand over the side of Suzaku's neck, mapping the warmth of his skin, the tendons and muscles beneath.] I'm sensitive along the back of my neck and along my hairline... ah, my scalp as well. [Yeah, that's basically an invitation to fuck his precious hair up. He permits it in situations like this, for how it feels.] And low on my back.

[Jeremiah finally releases his hold on his other wrist, his own pulse swift. Starting slow sounds torturous right now, but it seems all the more reason to aim for it. Suzaku may be willing, but everything else running through his head can still be present, and Jeremiah doesn't want this to be a needless strain on either of them. He's not afraid to have part of the conversation, illustrate his own willingness, through actions. It just takes a little time.]

Hands above the waist, for the moment. I want... I want to feel it out before doing more than that. [And he certainly does want. Oh boy.] We can take it from there.

[Feeling that hand smooth down the gentle slope of his neck has Suzaku fighting not to shiver. It's a fight he ultimately loses, given over to easy tremors and soft little sighs. This water's done a number on him, his nerves like live wires just beneath the surface of his skin, yet he can't help but cede to them. Can't help but enjoy vulnerability for once in his life, leaning his weight against Jeremiah's side.

It's all a bit much, at once. Suzaku thinks to comb his fingers through Jeremiah's hair, bites his lip and thinks better of it. I shouldn't, but oh, does he want to. Still, it's never been a question of want. Suzaku understands his bodily desires better than most.]

Right. Then... I'll be gentle.

[Mindful is the word Suzaku had been looking for, really. Toying with the hairs at the nape of Jeremiah's nape, Suzaku gingerly introduces his hand to the full sweep of his hair.]

I'm surprised. It's much softer than I thought it would be.

[And it's incredibly fun to tousle. If Suzaku's getting carried away, he won't be the one to say so, sitting up on his knees to better fuss with that silky hair.]

[It's well worth it for reassurance it leaves Jeremiah with, sighing out tension as Suzaku's hands find their way onto him. He wants this to be something better, enough so to hold on to what control he's left with. Having that touch be so gentle and wanted feels right, feels like movement in that direction. If anything, it's a relief.

Then again, he's never felt more driven to seek better ground with Suzaku this way, to show through a degree of action that he's not fearful. Without tremors in the younger man's hands or any recoil to the contact, he hopes it reaches both ways.]

The, ah, the steam has likely loosened up the product I put in. [It's Jeremiah's turn to shiver. Of course he goes all in, once given permission.] Though I do take good care of it, in general.

[He's well-distracted, but Jeremiah slides his hand to Suzaku's shoulder, his other hand flitting to his side. Under the water, their bodies brush enough to get those sparks running through him, gently hooking his ankle over one of his shins to draw ever closer. Chaste, yet intimate.]

Mn... that feels good, Suzaku.

[Just in case he wasn't sure. With his impulses driving him, Jeremiah can't help trying to reassure, verbally.]

[Jeremiah's letting these hands of his roam, rewarding Suzaku's curiosity with contact, and so they'll continue to wander as far as they're permitted.

It's progress, isn't it? Progress towards something more nebulous than seeking out common ground through conversation alone. A touch can convey what words alone can't, and when words so often fail Suzaku, he finds himself falling back on gestures like these to convey the weight of his feelings.

...which doesn't accomplish much when doesn't can't parse what it is he feels in this moment, as curious as he is anxious. After everything he's done to Jeremiah, he'd be justified in pushing him away... but he doesn't.

But he won't. He invites Suzaku to lavish him in attention and so Suzaku does, letting his hands wander down over the nape of Jeremiah's neck, feeling out the ports that decorate his spine, the stark contrast between human skin and cool metal.]

It does? [Ah, he's almost surprised. The last thing Suzaku expects to feel good to Jeremiah are these hands wandering along this body. Slowly but surely, however, he's warming up to it. Not like he can help it.] I'm relieved... Your body feels good under my hands.

[And his hair, of course, but Suzaku's hands have evidently done a bit more wandering. Down they go, coasting over Jeremiah's chest and fixating on the pulse beating beneath his skin, so taken by it that Suzaku can't help resting his cheek against that thrumming heart. His lips brush against Jeremiah's chest as he speaks, looking up a him with bright eyes. Naturally, he has no problem sidling closer.]

I want to make you feel even better.

[I owe you that much, don't I?]

[It feels worlds different like this. Suzaku's hands burn in a way that make Jeremiah only want to push for more, sighing and arching slightly to meet it. His willingness is easier to convey through physical means, so it seems. Certainly it seems more clearly received, this way.

Jeremiah can understand. Learning through doing isn't always the approach he takes, but it's still his favorite method.]

It does. [His tone only confirms it, doubling down, smile soft and easy at the younger man. Traces of doubt have all but left him, fear that his body might recoil even if his mind remains willing a distant concern.

Suzaku only seems to grow bolder the longer the contact lasts, the press of his face so pleasant that Jeremiah's hand slides back up, brushing over the skin of his neck to sink just his fingertips into those curls. There's undeniable appeal when he looks up, so eager to please and to give that Jeremiah slowly relinquishes his own insistence to map Suzaku out just as hungrily. They have time to get to the rest.]

Go ahead. I trust you.

[Easily lost but easily regained, for him. He doesn't need to tack on the "now" at the end of that statement. Jeremiah knows he's listened, knows their terms.]

[Jeremiah susses out his weakness just a little too easily. What is he, a cop? No, the water’s just that conducive to heightening sensitivity, it seems. Suzaku is well aware, yet he cares little to stray and mind his space, leaning against Jeremiah and only wanting for more of him.

All the same, Jeremiah’s too giving, much too forgiving, a thought that hasn’t left Suzaku since their conversation in his apartment. He has the water to thank for easing his troubled mind, but he has Jeremiah to thank for soothing it.]

Alright, [Suzaku swallows, righting himself to sit just a little taller.] Excuse me.

[Pardon the intrusion, or rather, please welcome it. Suzaku shifts, tilts his head to one side to capture Jeremiah’s lips with his own. They’re very inviting, those lips. Even so, jolts like electric shocks course up and down Suzaku’s spine, the taste of them not nearly as citrusy as anticipated. What a rip, he wants his money back.

Except... no. This kiss is more than good enough on its own, Jeremiah’s lips pliant and yielding and far too inviting for their own good. Suzaku can’t bring himself to part from them, tempting fate and begging entrance into that mouth with the tip of his tongue.]

[It's a comfort to pull in close, skin pressed on skin, the warmth shared that burns differently than the water. Jeremiah himself can't resist shifting his hand around to Suzaku's other side, curling his arm about his waist to keep him there. He sees no reason to play modest about it now, not when the draw to hold him is so strong, plenty of contact between their bodies without overstepping the boundaries set.

The fact that it comes so easily still surprises him. There's a larger conversation he knows he wants to have, but for a trial run, this feels like enough. Enough to prove a point of his own wellbeing, enough to sate the curious urge to reach in turn for him.

When Suzaku leans in close, Jeremiah's eyes close easily, leaning to bridge some of that distance as their lips meet. It's so much more gentle this time it's almost startling, his lips warm and plush and not waiting long to part. Jeremiah invites him in this time when asked, in a way, opening up under the contact and lapping at him in a curious, gentle graze of his tongue on the other man's. He kisses Suzaku slow but thorough, getting a proper feel for him rather than a forceful exchange or rushed plea, working tingles of sensation down into his core. It's then that Jeremiah feels his body respond in a want for more, sighing through his nose far more breathily than he'd intended.

Impulses strong, he reminds himself to have patience, to stick to his own rules. All good things in time. For now, that other hand of his drifts down to Suzaku's shoulder, past his collarbone to rest over his heart, splaying easily over one side of his chest. He doesn't give the impression of it from his toned build but he's actually not very big, not next to Jeremiah's broad shoulders and large hands.]

[The kiss itself wouldn't be so overwhelming in a normal context. In fact, it's entirely Suzaku's fault that it is, the wet heat of Jeremiah's mouth as familiar as it is intimidating territory.

He hurt Jeremiah. Through something as simple and intimate as a kiss, he'd hurt him and forced his hand. For a moment, Suzaku's tongue stills. He's reminded of that acerbic pill, how it tasted on his tongue. Reminded of how he forced it onto Jeremiah's and how its staggering effects were almost immediate.

He shouldn't be thinking about that now, not after Jeremiah had forgiven Suzaku his very worst transgressions... and yet he does. Yet he whispers a muted apology against his lips. He wants this to be better. He wants this to be pleasant, but more than anything, Suzaku wants for more of it.

More of this pleasant feeling. More of the warmth they share between them. Jeremiah's hand eclipses his heart and Suzaku breaks into a full-body shudder, his own hand coming up to loosely latch onto it.]

...does it feel good? This time.

[This time isn't lent as much of a voice as it should have been.]

[Jeremiah isn't sure how else to interpret the flicker of hesitation, and it makes his chest ache. Of course they'll need to talk more, he's already decided as much. Not just for the things Jeremiah wants to say, but for Suzaku's sake. Last time was too laden with heavy feelings and alcohol for him to open everything up, to speak with complete honesty.

It didn't feel right then to tell him it did feel good, even in a way it shouldn't have. It doesn't feel right to tell him now either, the whole thing too complex and fraught to broach while close like this. Jeremiah isn't sure why it all came together as it did, but he hasn't sought too hard for an answer. Not yet, not when it felt too raw to reach out.]

Very good. [His answer is hushed, delving right back in for quick seconds, mouth slick as he licks into Suzaku's this time. Good enough that he wants to rush for thirds, fourths, but he might not want to stop at all if he did.

Not that he's anywhere close to it, every shift bringing a brush of skin against skin, his hand squeezing at his pectoral, grazing the bump of his nipple against the edge of his palm. Those slender, defined muscles of his feel lovely under his touch in turn, tempting a greedier hand that he refrains from. He's not sure how far to take this here, but the urges he's so easily succumbing to don't seem to have an endpoint, tempting thoughts slipping their way into the forefront and demanding his consideration.]

You feel wonderful. [Drifting down this time, Jeremiah brushes a kiss to the side of his neck. Already, he wants to press down harder, settling for the gentlest tease of his skin between barely-parted lips, murmuring against him.] I want... more of you.

[Shit. No helping his tongue any more than his thoughts, right now. Jeremiah's face flares with heat, stalling where he doesn't have to face the other man quite yet.]

[In any other circumstance, perhaps Suzaku would find something imposing in those large hands. Perhaps allowing Jeremiah this close is what gave him pause, if only long enough to draw in and exhale a damp, shaky breath. In this circumstance, Suzaku can only find a certain appeal to the difference in size between them, a thought that has him shivering in the steaming hot water.

...he doesn't want to make a grievous mistake again, but Suzaku can't hear I want more of you without being inspired to give more of himself over to Jeremiah.

He wanted to inspire mutual trust, didn't he? To open himself up to Jeremiah without fear of his past mistakes coming back to haunt him. It's for that reason that Suzaku sits up, swings a leg over the broad sweep of Jeremiah's lap, and drops himself onto it. He's shivering all over again, but Suzaku is no longer nervous. Not one bit.

If anything, he's elated.]

I want more of you too. Jeremiah... touch me.

[It's only Jeremiah's answer, should it be unfavorable, that scares Suzaku. That's what has him pressing their lips together once more, those shivers continuing to shake the very breath he exhales, hands coming up to roost on Jeremiah's shoulders. He'll push no further, won't grind down on Jeremiah's lap or beg for him to bury his fingers in his body, because they agreed to go about this a certain way. All the same, the temptation is there and the temptation has literally been thrust upon Jeremiah's lap, so uh. Good luck, orange boy.]

[He gasps softly at the onslaught of skin on skin, drawing a shudder through him as well as Suzaku settles in. There's no mistaking the pleasure in the sound, more telling than he'd intended but as open as he ought to be anyway, shifting slightly beneath him to get comfortable. The hand on his waist drifts instead to his back, not so low to be dangerous but utterly teasing, the curve of his ass already pressed into Jeremiah's thighs.

It's a lovely thing, even he would have admitted, before anything of this nature was ever in his plans. Jeremiah has eyes, and that suit of his did his figure nothing but favors.]

With pleasure.

[Still shying from too much eye contact, Jeremiah leans right back in to that neck of his, kissing once, twice, letting a press of his teeth graze light but intent over his skin. He has his suspicions that he could get away with more, but it's just a taste that he's after, to see what just an edge of harshness will do. It's not much, the hand on his back simply resting, the one on his chest squeezing and toying idly, but there's so much contact between the both of them now that it feels incredible just to absorb the moment.

Getting too far ahead of himself could come with its own problems, anyway. There's only so much he's been able to take before feeling stirrings in his body, encouraged by every step and every touch to bring them closer. It's not an inevitability, not really, not when this can be as much or as little as they want, but he's not fooling himself either.]

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