"You've reached the inbox of Jeremiah Gottwald. I'm unavailable at the moment, but leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."
"There's guilt on both sides. I treated him badly when all he was trying to do was fix the damage another did to me. The person responsible is another matter entirely." And one he's not discussing, even if mentioning him has Zichen taking a slower breath, forcing his mind back on topic.
"He broke rules and asked his former master to undo the damage done to me and I drove him away with cruel words after he gave up his own eyes for me. When I'd had time to think, to recover properly, I realized my mistake but he'd been gone for a year by then.
So I started searching for him. I was close to finding him when I arrived here and it's been...complicated ever since."
Not too sensitive, then. Jeremiah listens and remains quiet for a while, absorbing it first.
"It sounds complicated altogether," Jeremiah acknowledges. A few things stand out, certainly, when it seems the sacrifice made was in the most literal sense of those words. Fascinating in one sense, horrific in another.
He speaks a little more slowly, cautiously. "Time to process and introspect is important, though. Even if you both wish to reconcile, that doesn't always happen quickly."
"I know. I've been keeping a bit of distance between us to try and make things less..complicated with the way this place affects people." Which is the best he can honestly do.
"I've actually been keeping my distance from most people, outside of incidents like tonight and the night we met. I do patrol and the like, but it's ...
"It's hard to establish normality when there's little of that to go around in the first place." Hapless, the weight in his gut sinks lower, curling unpleasantly into the silence. Jeremiah's eyes have found the ground by now, minding the cracks in the street, rubble left over from earlier.
"I've considered that tactic for myself, honestly." Whether or not he could handle isolation, who can say. But it has its merits.
"It is." And honestly even his attempts to keep things at a distance don't work as well as he'd like, given his encounters with Xue Yang. And how it makes him feel.
"...There's no shame in doing what feels right for you, though. I just don't...want strangers touching me." Not that he considers Jeremiah a stranger anymore. "And I don't really know anyone here well enough to seek that."
Except Xingchen, and that's got too much else tied up for him to fall back into using his friend.
"You're the only one, aside from Xingchen that I've really talked to more than briefly."
He just nods first. Understandable, to not wish for that contact so readily. Things moved fast here, faster than Jeremiah would usually be inclined towards in the first place. Not always, admittedly, but when things feel right and both parties are willing-
Well. Anyway.
The rest is what gets surprise blooming on his features. Not for the potential implication, just the statement itself.
"Really?" Smooth. "... I suppose I feel honored, then, that you feel comfortable conversing with me." He pauses, his expression softening into something honest. "I've enjoyed your company as well, Zichen."
His surprise is faint but unmistakable, eye wide for a moment until a smile grows over his lips. There's ways to interpret it, sure, no particular precedent for more set between them. But he's pretty solid on what he takes away.
Warmth grows in his chest. "I'm certainly trying to be."
He omits the part where he doesn't think he's always fit that bill, the pride he holds in the path that brought him to this point is entirely just. Jeremiah knows parts of it aren't, even if that hindsight doesn't undo things already done.
"Perhaps we can make time then, on a less chaotic day."
He matches his pace, slowing and shortening his strides once he notices.
"That's a wise idea. I'd enjoy that, actually." It'll be leisurely unless they run into something. Guard work is occasionally harrying but mostly monotonous like that. Certainly more engaging when one works in pairs.
Pondering direction, he's not really sure how far it is to where Zichen now stays. "Is the hospital a midway point at all between here and your current residence? Or perhaps the library? Those are the most distinct landmarks I can think of."
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"He broke rules and asked his former master to undo the damage done to me and I drove him away with cruel words after he gave up his own eyes for me. When I'd had time to think, to recover properly, I realized my mistake but he'd been gone for a year by then.
So I started searching for him. I was close to finding him when I arrived here and it's been...complicated ever since."
no subject
"It sounds complicated altogether," Jeremiah acknowledges. A few things stand out, certainly, when it seems the sacrifice made was in the most literal sense of those words. Fascinating in one sense, horrific in another.
He speaks a little more slowly, cautiously. "Time to process and introspect is important, though. Even if you both wish to reconcile, that doesn't always happen quickly."
no subject
"I've actually been keeping my distance from most people, outside of incidents like tonight and the night we met. I do patrol and the like, but it's ...
I don't like how this place affects people."
no subject
"It's hard to establish normality when there's little of that to go around in the first place." Hapless, the weight in his gut sinks lower, curling unpleasantly into the silence. Jeremiah's eyes have found the ground by now, minding the cracks in the street, rubble left over from earlier.
"I've considered that tactic for myself, honestly." Whether or not he could handle isolation, who can say. But it has its merits.
no subject
"...There's no shame in doing what feels right for you, though. I just don't...want strangers touching me." Not that he considers Jeremiah a stranger anymore. "And I don't really know anyone here well enough to seek that."
Except Xingchen, and that's got too much else tied up for him to fall back into using his friend.
"You're the only one, aside from Xingchen that I've really talked to more than briefly."
no subject
Well. Anyway.
The rest is what gets surprise blooming on his features. Not for the potential implication, just the statement itself.
"Really?" Smooth. "... I suppose I feel honored, then, that you feel comfortable conversing with me." He pauses, his expression softening into something honest. "I've enjoyed your company as well, Zichen."
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"Perhaps we could do it more often?"
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"I'd like that very much."
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"And you seem to be an honorable man, as far as I've seen." Not that he's seen everything but he's seen enough to know he wants to find out more.
no subject
He omits the part where he doesn't think he's always fit that bill, the pride he holds in the path that brought him to this point is entirely just. Jeremiah knows parts of it aren't, even if that hindsight doesn't undo things already done.
"Perhaps we can make time then, on a less chaotic day."
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"I do patrol most nights."
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"That's a wise idea. I'd enjoy that, actually." It'll be leisurely unless they run into something. Guard work is occasionally harrying but mostly monotonous like that. Certainly more engaging when one works in pairs.
Too early to call it a date, though. Right?
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"We can arrange a meeting place and time before we part for the night."
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Pondering direction, he's not really sure how far it is to where Zichen now stays. "Is the hospital a midway point at all between here and your current residence? Or perhaps the library? Those are the most distinct landmarks I can think of."